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  • Writer's pictureSteve

Black Crab (2022)

I bet Jayne Torvill could do it. She's a bit handy on a pair of skates.

Here Noomi Rapace (Prometheus, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo) and company are on a military mission to transport a mystery box that will end the war across a frozen archipelago that's 'too thin to drive on'. Bugger. That's just typical. This would have been so much easier if they had just one helicopter left in the whole of the entire army. (cough, cough)

This Swedish (dubbed into English, no subs) produced dark and sober action adventure feels uncomfortably timely, given the trouble in Eastern Europe at the present time. So much so in fact, that it might even be considered bad taste, timing release-wise.

At the outset this reminded me of Annihilation, the only real difference being the lack of science fiction and the fact that Natalie Portman was there to collect and not deliver. The plot was the same, however - heroic female soldier goes on a mission to save the world. You go girl! Be inspired, all Netflix subscribed women, this sister is doing it for herself! Never mind the five male soldiers who are there to support her. Don't think about them. It dilutes the message and therefore the films' main reason for being.

With regular flashbacks to times with her daughter, we see that she is not only a cold, calculated soldier, but also a loving mother. The reason she agreed to this mission at all, was due to the promise of being released from the army, to be re-united with her long lost daughter. Not national pride that compels her then, just good old fashioned love of family. Odd that she even became a soldier to begin with then, eh?

As you might expect, being the only person in the film you're likely to have heard of, and the only woman, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out who will be standing by the end of it, but not before the supporting party of soldiers are whittled down one by one and if there is anything driving the plot, it's the raffle of how many will make it to their final destination. Throw in a moral quandary halfway through to make it interesting and see how our protagonist reacts. Yep, that's it I reckon. Roll credits


To be fair, the acting is average to good, even if the script is unchallenging and dour. Character arcs are non-existent for the most part, so empathy is understandably low. There are interesting cinematic moments that impress but they are too few to raise this above what this really is - a long, cold and dangerous walk in the middle of nowhere. With guns.


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