Glorious (2022)

Don't put your penis in there. Who knows what will happen? Seventy-odd minutes of a man stuck in a rest-stop toilet with only an omnipotent entity for company in the next stall, using the voice of JK Simmons.

Well, like a million monkeys typing will eventually write the works of Shakespeare, eventually I will come to this exact cinematic circumstance. And here we are. Not sure what on earth might have been pitched to get this greenlit, but you can bet they could only afford Simmons' voice, hence his total lack of appearance.

It's entertaining enough, even engaging at times, but never gets out of 'what a great idea that would be' territory. On paper, it might have sounded like pure genius. On screen, well, not so much. Not sure why an all-knowing God would choose to make their presence known in the toilet, why they couldn't perform their own organ surgery or why choose poor old Wes, our demonstrably hapless victim.

You get what you pay for, of course, and whilst this doesn't come across as cheap exactly, it shows and plays like a Twilight Zone episode that's maxed out its budget. It's sloppy more than gory and less funny than it wants to be, even with the pithy one-liners, breaking up the tension, such as it is. Neither scary or funny enough to rightfully pigeonhole itself to either genre. Just a bit 'meh', if we're honest.