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  • Writer's pictureSteve

Halloween Ends (2022)

Does it though? Really? (has visions of Chris Hemsworth's face, asking the same question). I mean, you've said that before, right? So, level with me. This is it now, right? Well, thank fuck for that. *comes back twelve months later to read what he wrote the last time they blatantly lied to us all*

God alone knows how this franchise is still making enough money to warrant ANOTHER movie (might be the Amazon masks). But they also said that about Resident Evil, so here we are.

Shameless cash grabs don't have to be so bloody awful, lacking imagination to such a degree. Just stop paying for it, and they'll stop making them.

By now, at least two generations of teenagers have taken their date to the flicks at the end of October to watch something related (distantly or otherwise) to this abysmal abortion of a film. It's only saving grace being that it was under two hours long. I took a more satisfying dump only this morning. Even my fifty-three year old tumescence provides more tension. In the words of my favourite Scottish movie critic, FUCK OFF FILM.

I'm not doing this anymore, bring me my Shiraz and be quick about it.


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