Scream (2022)

"Not quite a reboot, not quite a sequel."

Probably the most overly lauded horror movie franchise in history. Many, many of what ended up becoming cinematic cash cows in this genre started from humble beginnings. Scream did not and has benefitted greatly from talking about itself in the third person for decades since.

The only thing more confusing than it's own high opinion of itself, is the unfathomable fandom that comes attached to it. I understand that this is may be the first 'horror' experience for many children when being introduced to the genre, so will naturally hold some nostalgic warmth, but it's hard to try and excuse this partially forgivable goodwill for those that claim to (and really should) know better.

This is and always has been slashing for the masses and it is good at what it does, but this is still the glossy, corporate brochure offering an amazing discount on cheap thrills. Just because it recognises itself, which it often reminds us that it does, doesn't make it woke or elevate it to anything resembling highbrow.

If McDonalds made horror movies, this is what you'd get. Tasty and easily digestible, available absolutely everywhere, but lacking real cinematic satisfaction. When you're finished, you just feel a bit dirty for enjoying it.

I'm certainly not the demographic for this, judging by the number of people I have seen expressing their undying love for the characters that they believe were so well rounded that they could imagine it being themselves. "oh that is SO me."

Well, far from it at this end. I wasn't a huge fan, being too old to be impressed by it, even when the first film was released and I am less enamoured by it for every new 'version' that appears.

The script is not challenging, so possibly perfect in that regard, and the acting is just about as good as you would hope for under the circumstances. Most popular with teenage girls, I imagine, given that the leads are predominantly feisty female fighters who often put up more of a fight and last longer than their male counterparts when confronted with potential demise.

Often hollow and vacuous, this truly is horror by numbers, employing a tested formula to gather the most farmyard animals in one place as possible. We're all sheep, after all and Scream knows it.