The Nun II (2023)
Second day back in the habit. Now I'd be lying through my gritted teeth if I told you that having actually seen the first one, I have no recollection whatsoever as to what happened. Not memorable then, but this bastard hybrid of The Conjuring universe just keeps on giving, whether we want it to or not.
I would have paid good money to see the Nun playing keepie-uppie with that football, but rather than be wary about the upcoming doom, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the size of those massive communion wafers. Focus, Steve.
And we really shouldn't laugh, but really, this is what it has come to, if it wasn't already little more than a pre-op Marylin Manson haring about in fancy dress, scaring few onlookers, but nervously worrying lots.
Admittedly, you can't fault the production design as it looks glorious but for a story with such a religious bent it fails to really have anything in the way of soul. The tension is at best fleeting and the story reliably and repeatedly farcical. The performances are fine for what is required of them, but this really isn't asking alot of its audience, aside from to sit there patiently and wait for each time the Nun turns up and dispenses with another one of God's children in seemingly random ways each time.
Overall, a bit of an unimaginative snooze-fest that will please few, not scary enough or bloody enough for audiences who really didn't come for a two hour nap. Given the clout and the money behind it, you'd think this could come up with a bit of real menace, but opts for jump-scares that are as unfulfilling as the plot.