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  • Writer's pictureSteve

Immaculate (2024)

Nuns have always made me feel uncomfortable at the best of times. I don't care what you say, nobody is that pious that hasn't had so much as an impure thought.


To be fair, Sydney Sweeney would not have been the first choice I would have imagined as being cast in the role of naive, well-intentioned girl who barely has the chance to get her habit mucky before she finds out she's mysteriously pregnant. The only conception, immaculate or otherwise in a convent in Italy, full of the seemingly devout.


All is not as it seems of course, or this would be a very different tale, not to mention a good deal shorter, as the story diverts to type relatively quickly, with seemingly nefarious nocturnal fumblings and the odd (and I do mean odd) bout of grisly violence. 


As you can imagine, the convent is sent whirling at the news of this 'miracle' but most of these normally good souls that we have only just been introduced to are sent into something of a frenzy. See, told you that you should never trust a nun. Sneaky bitches.


Altogether, aside from the last scene, this is a bit of a letdown, but Sweeney performs well enough to make it palatable for the casual viewer, but don't kid yourself, this is far from highbrow or challenging. Rarely tense enough to become unsettling, it is prone to bursts of interest (branding the souls of her feet with crosses was a neat touch) but the exposition is sparse enough to keep the most patient guessing.


Even at eighty odd minutes, it feels like it spends too much time aimlessly dawdling. See it and forget it, most likely.



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